


"Its Just Jokes"

by A1netty



Category: Call of Duty
Genre: Boredom, Dirty Jokes, Gen, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jokes, Other, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:51:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A1netty/pseuds/A1netty
Summary: The 141 realize they have nothing else better to do so they decide to tell countless jokes on one another.





	"Its Just Jokes"

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something that I put together because I was bored.
> 
> Anyways enjoy :)

Today was going fine until we had roll call with our favorite lieutenant. ( Simon Ghost Riley). Apparently, Mactavish and Captain Price were in a meeting with General Shepard and Macmillan. Eventually they said that they would catch up with us later after the meeting had ended. Leaving a very irritated and annoyed Ghost to attend with us.

"You bloody yanks better pay attention because I'm only going to say this once. 

"Yes sir.

"Scarecrow ?

Here.

"Ozone ?

Here.

"Toad ?

"Yes Sir. I- I mean here Sir.

"Hm. Ghost said walking around. You know... sometimes I wonder why you were even picked to join this team mate.

"What do you mean ?

"Because a soldier with the kind of name belongs in the pond. Not in the task force. 

Everyone broke into fits of laughter.

"Enough. You bloody Yank's names aren't any better. Like Roach for example.

What about me ?

"What kind of pest like yourself doing in the task force anyways ? He questioned.

"Actually the name is Gary Roach Sanderson. And I'm here to kick some ass. If that means anything.

Everyone just chuckled as they waited to see what happened next.

"Hm.. to right mate. To bad I didn't bring any bug spray. He chuckled.

Roach just sat there pouting as everyone else continued to laugh.

Asshole.

"Wow Ghost. Mactavish said walking up. I didn't expect you to pull something like this off.

Ghost just rolled his eyes.

"Ya well, your lucky these bloody idiots showed up on time.

"To right mate.

"Okay ladies, you know the drill. Head over towards the shooting range. I'll be testing you on your shooting today. 

*Groans

Mactavish just rolled his eyes.

"And It's not timed. So you bloody arses can relax. He smiled. If you find yourself getting angry or irritated you can aim down sights at Ghost.

Ghost raised his eyebrow at his CO before replying.

"You heard Soap..I mean Mactavish. He said smiling before nudging his captains side.

"Cheeky bastard.

20 mins later...

"Hey bug !!

Silence..

"HEY ROACH !! Meat shouted.

"What Meat ?

"When was the last time you had sex ?

Everyone froze including Roach. He even choked on a piece of meat that he was eating for lunch. As usual, Ghost, Mactavish and Price were listening but not paying attention.

"Wh-what ?

"I SAAAAID ...when was the last time you had sex ? He said smiling from ear to ear.

"None of your damn business Meat.

"Aw c'mon man. I was just kidding.

"He's probably still a virgin. Royce said from across the room.

"Fuck you guys.

"Eh, don't pay them no attention Roach. Archer said drinking his coffee. They're just bored.

"Yeah Roach. Toad said butting in. Who needs em.

"I've got an idea. Peasant said smirking. How about we play a game ?

"What kind of game ? Meat asked. Hide your mothers panties ?

"How about whoever catches the Meat and cooks him first ?

"Wow, you guys are fucking weird. Roach said shaking his head.

"The first fucker that touches me will get dropped kicked.

"Oh my. Peasant said smirking. I wonder by whom.

"By me asshole. 

"Oh I'm sooo scared.

"Give it a break Peasant. Royce said rolling his eyes.

"Ya know, Sometimes I wonder if you two are really banging each other by the way your always up each others asses 24/7. Toad said smiling.

"Is that why you and Archer are always working together ?

"Fuck you Toad. Why don't you go back to the lake where you came from.

"Aww did someone's feelings get hurt ?

"I'd bet money on that one. Archer said smirking. And for your information Meat. We are scout snipers. We don't need to be up each others asses 24/7 like you guys do.

"So Royce. How does Meats shit smell ? Scarecrow said laughing.

"Fuck you Scarecrow. Why don't you go help Dorothy pick some fucking corn. 

"Nah, I think I'll pass.

"Someone should shove a stick up their asses so they can walk straighter. Chemo said jumping in.

"Fuck off Chemotherapy.

"Peasant, why don't you shut the fuck up and go back to being a chauffeur or waitress you fucking dick. 

"Chemo you look like a turd that crawled out the pit of someone's ass. Meat said laughing.

"And you look like something I ate last night.

"Oh really ? Like what ?

"A pussy.

"Alright you two. That's enough. Price said getting annoyed.

"Chemo started it.

"Just finishing what you started Meaty.

Mactavish on the other hand was getting fairly annoyed. But the 141 members kept on going.

"Royce, your so ugly that your mother decided to give you up at birth. Peasant said firing back from Meats earlier joke.

"Peasant, no wonder your parents didn't want you. 

"Royce, when the Captain told you to read aloud you started burping the alphabet like a dumbass. Chemo said backing up Peasant.

"I heard that. Mactavish said getting even more annoyed.

"Sorry Sir.

"What's wrong Meaty ? Your looking a little pinkish. Toad said laughing.

"How about we throw him on the grill ? Ozone added.

"Maybe add some seasoning for flavor. Archer said as everyone else doubled over in laughter.

Roach on the other hand was surprisingly quiet. He actually enjoyed it.

"Fuck off. Meat said blushing.

"Maybe we should throw a plastic bag full of shit at their windows.

"Yeah man I'm down. Let's do it.

"No your not. Mactavish said looking at the group.

"You do that and you'll wake up with a full face shit smeared into your pillows by tomorrow morning. Meat said smiling. And I'm not talking about the hard kind. 

"Ewww..you guys are fucking sick. Roach face palmed.

Meat just laughed as the others thought of a comeback.

"Yeah keep thinking your such a bad ass until someone smashes your fucking face into the wall Meat. 

"Blah blah blah. Whatever.

"Captain, the next time we go on a mission can we leave Meat in the woods as bait for the Russians ? Chemo asked.

Mactavish just eyed him as everyone else just laughed.

"All of you can kiss my pink ass. Meat said flipping them all off.

"Yeah, that's never gonna happen.

"Yeah you wish.

"Can you two just shut the Fuck up ? I'm sick of your shit. Royce said getting irritated.

"Like we're not sick of yours ? Get over it. 

"Hey, Fuck you !!

"ENOUGH !!

Everyone went silent as Mactavish began speaking. Everyone knows that an angry Mactavish was not fun to be around. Especially now.

"Shouldn't you guys be outside doing anything besides annoy me all day ? You lots have nothing else better to do besides tell stupid bloody jokes on each other. Well guess what lads ? He said clapping his hands together. I have something that you all will enjoy doing.

He quickly stood up from the table with Price and Ghost following close behind. 

"Roach and Archer you can start by cleaning the heads. I want those toilets sparkly clean.

Yes sir.

"Toad, Ozone and Chemo. You three can clean out the vehicles. I better not see a single hint of dirt or your asses are mine.

Yes Sir.

"Peasant and Scarecrow. You two can move the ammo crates and set up new target sheets inside of the shooting range.

Yes Sir.

"Meat and Royce. You guys can go help Nikolai with the chopper and pavelow. 

Their mouths dropped when Mactavish had said that. That was a big fucking plane to be cleaning out. Especially in the heat. Mactavish noticed this and walked towards them.

"Problem ? He said with an arched eyebrow.

"No Sir.

"Good. Then your all dismissed. He said walking away with a giggling Ghost and a bored Price.

"What just happened ?

"We just got served. Chemo said leaving to attend with his duties.

"I guess we better get started.

"Ugh Fine. Roach said following Archer out of the mess hall.

"Ya see. Ozone said pushing meat. This could've all have been prevented if Meat would've just kept his big fucking mouth closed.

"Yeah, yeah Whatever.

Royce just laughed as they both made their way towards Nikolai's hangar.


End file.
